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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 05. 18 조회 13706

Playing Sports

작성자: 119906 담당 튜터: Ida
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Well, what I want to talk about is the final championship league game of last year. To be more specific, it is the fight between lions and bears, both of which have been my favorite. It was held in October, so that the weather was a little bit chill as far as I can remember.
Now, moving forward onto the next theme of what happened during the game, you really need to know that the both team did their best to win the game in turn the championship of the year. One of the best players of lions, Lee, hit home run when the all bases were filled. However, the bears players also tried to catch up and eventually it continued over the official innings. Eventually, lions won the game and I was delighted to watch all those players and staff celebrate the victory. Now they have become a series winner of Korean baseball league and this year, they are still robust in this year.
튜터 교정 답변

Well, what I want to talk about is the final championship league game of last year. To be more specific, it is the fight between the lions and the bears, both of which have been my favorite. It was held in October, so that the weather was a little bit chill as far as I can remember. Now, moving forward onto the next theme of what happened during the game, you really need to know that the both team did their best to win the game in turn the championship of the year. One of the best players of lions, Lee, hit home run when the all bases were filled. However, the bears players also tried to catch up and eventually it continued over the official innings. Eventually, lions won the game and I was delighted to watch all those players and staff celebrate the victory. Now they have become a series winner of Korean baseball league and this year, they are still robust in this year.

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Hi Sean! You really have a good command in grammar. Your composition is good. You just need to be mindful with your articles.

Keep it up! Have a great day!

 

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