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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 05. 20 조회 12762

Leisure for Sports

작성자: 1102047904 담당 튜터: Beth
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Last week, I went to see a soccer game at the Sangarm WorldCup stadium with my family.
I enjoy watching soccer because it is very fun and exciting.
Before the game, I bought some popcorn and soda.
and I went to the restroom because I didn't want to miss any parts of the game.
During the first half of the game, no one scored any goals. After half-time, my team scored its first goal.
That was the best part of the game. We screamed together, and it was very exciting and thrilling.
However, one player on my team comitted a foul. The other team scored on a penalty shot.
When the game was over the score was tied.
I was very disappointed with the result so I went back home directly.
튜터 교정 답변

-> Last week, I went to see a soccer game at the Sangarm Sangam World Cup stadium with my family.

-> I enjoy enjoyed watching soccer because it is very fun and exciting.

-> Before the game, I bought some popcorn and soda and I went to the restroom because I didn't want to miss any parts part of the game.

-> During the first half of the game, no one scored any goal goals.

-> After the half-time, my team scored its it's first goal. That was the best part of the game.

We screamed together, and it was very exciting and thrilling.

-> However, one of the players on my team comitted committed a foul. The other team scored on a penalty shot.

-> When the game was over, the score was tied. I was very disappointed with the result, so I directly went back home. directly.

 

Good morning Peter,

Thank you for sending me another composition.

I can say that you cannot keep your disappointment about what happened but I'm glad to know that you had fun with your family.

Just remember how you had fun with them and let's hope for your team to win next time.

 

-Beth-

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