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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 05. 20 조회 12346

Solutions to reduce Cyber-Bullies

작성자: pos600333 담당 튜터: Jasmine1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Cyber bullying is the activity that slanders or badmouthes about other people. Especially, young children's cyber bullying is the severe problem nowdays. They are not good at managing their feelings or caring for other people. So, it is easy to be use SNS in improper way, and it is needed to teach how to do in the cyberworld.

First. classes about online etiquettes or ethics are should be included in the school curriculum. Second, teachers and parents should communicate often with the children. Finally, improper activities should be punished and corrected.
튜터 교정 답변

Cyber bullying is the activity that slanders or badmouths about other people. Especially young children's cyber bullying is the  a severe problem nowdays. They are not good at managing their feelings or caring for other people. So, it is easy to be use SNS in an improper way, and it is needed to teach children how to do behave in the cyberworld.

First, classes about online etiquettes or ethics are should be included in the school curriculum. Second, teachers and parents should communicate often with the children. Finally, improper activities should be punished and corrected.
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1) Cyberbullying is many activities (posting mean pictures, texting, directly or indirectly insulting people), so we cannot use "the" with it
--> cyberbully is activity that slanders other people

2) Modal verbs don't need helping verbs before them
--> Classes about ettiquette should be taught.

3) Ettiquete is an uncountable noun, there's no plural form

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