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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 05. 27 조회 13974

Disadvantages of the Telecommuting

작성자: pos600333 담당 튜터: Jasmine1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Telecommuting is not attractive system to the employers. They cannot check or monitor the attendance of their employees. Without the supervision from the manager, most employees do not focus on their works. Communication among colleagues is not effective, too. That is, the performance or efficiency of the working decreases.

To the employees, telecommuting is very attractive system. However, owing to the problems that i said, many employers reluctant to accept this system. So, telecommuting jobs are available to the routine work such as counselling, writing books or designers. Most of telecommuting jobs provide low salary, too.
튜터 교정 답변

Telecommuting is not an attractive system to the employers. They cannot check or monitor the attendance of their employees. Without the supervision from the managers (pl), most employees do not focus on their works. Communication among colleagues is not effective, too. That is, the performance or efficiency of the working decreases.

To the employees, telecommuting is a very attractive system. However, owing to the problems that I said, many employers are reluctant to accept this system. So, telecommuting jobs are available to for the routine work such as counselling, writing books or designing. Most of telecommuting jobs provide low salary, too.

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1) Work meaning jobs or assignments is uncountable. It should never be written as "works"
--Work can be a piece such as 'work of art' or 'one of Shakspears many works' can be countable

2) "Routine jobs such as designers" is a fine sentence, but you want to words to match
--> "routine jobs such as counselors, writers or designers" OR "counselling, writing books or designing"

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