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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 06. 11 조회 15065

Watching sports

작성자: 1102047346 담당 튜터: Chloe1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
I like to watch baseball games. Even I did usually play baseball with friends when I was a kid. If there are just 3 boys, we could play it. One was charge of a pitcher. Other was a catcher. Another was a hitter. Anyway, I was in elementary school when I attended my first baseball game with my dad. My dad bought thunder sticks to cheer up players. He gave me one. It was so exciting to see my favorite player on the field. I loved him, and he's my role model as my dream. At that time my dream was to be a baseball player. It was also very fun to be a part of the crowd. I sang the cheer songs loudly with crowd. Our team fans were all cheering together as one and they made a lot of noise to cheer for our team. Finally, my favorite player did "Home run" when our team was being defeated. Thanks for his home run, our team won as breaking a tie. I screamed and hugged my dad. It was an unforgettable game watching experience. After that, I often went to watch baseball game with my dad or friends.
튜터 교정 답변

Hi Jake! Good morning! I really appreciate what you are doing. Keep it up! Here are your corrections. ^_^

 

I like to watch baseball games. I even played baseball with my friends when I was a kid. If there are just 3 boys, we would still play it. One was the pitcher, the other was the catcher and the last boy was the hitter. Anyway, I was in elementary school when I attended my first baseball game with my dad. My dad bought thunder sticks to cheer up players. He gave me one. It was so exciting to see my favorite player on the field. I loved him, and he's my role model. At that time, my dream was to be a baseball player. It was also very fun to be part of the crowd. I sang and cheer loudly with the crowd. The fans of the team were all cheering together as one and they made a lot of noise to cheer for our team. Finally, my favorite player did "Home run" when our team was being defeated. Thanks for his home run, our team won. I screamed and hugged my dad. It was an unforgettable game watching experience. After that, I often went to watch baseball game with my dad or friends.

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