목록으로 돌아가기
공개 첨삭 완료 2020. 07. 09 조회 10295

the explanation of subject of the publication of our institute.

작성자: civicedu_myraphael 담당 튜터: Vanessa2
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
● Democratic citizenship education projects(curriculum) for youth that have been conducted or in progress: Introduction, effectiveness, limits, etc.
● Textbooks, teaching materials used for education: How do you develop and how do you use? (Fundraising, Planning, Participants, Procedures, Usage, and Guideline, etc.)
● Online youth election education content: implementation method, status, performance, limits, etc.
● Training program for teachers or specialized instructor training course of Youth election education.
튜터 교정 답변

Hello there!


I just read your two messages and they seem to be quite in order. Is it for curriculum development?


The subject titles are coherent. Well done.

You might want to add more details here:
Subjects may be further subdivided BY........

a slight improvement here on consistency:

Although the main interesting issue is electoral education in high school, the issues could be widened to democracy education in schools and outside.

Although the main interesting issue is electoral education in high school, the issues COULD WIDEN to democracy education in schools and outside.

a slight improvement here on word choice ( in relation to is a bit wordy) :

Subjects and materials that your organization considers important in relation to youth election education(democracy education.

Subjects and materials that your organization considers important CONCERNING youth election education(democracy education.

교정 내용이 클립보드에 복사되었습니다!