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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 06. 16 조회 14002

MY family~

작성자: 1102044240 담당 튜터: Paula
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
They are four people in my family.
I was married on the two thousand and four years.
I am currently living with my wife and 10 years old son and adorable
8 years old daughter. My wife is a housewife.
she is five cm taller than i and eight years younger than i.
so everyone is green with envy

My son is now 3rd grade at 명덕 elementary school.
He always carry good smiles, although he has a bit of shy part.

My daughter has just entered the elementary school, the 명덕.
She is so pure when she talks and smiles at me.
튜터 교정 답변

They are four people in my family.

->There are four people in my family.

I was married on the two thousand and four years.

-> I got married last 2004.

I am currently living with my wife and 10 years old son and adorable 8 years old daughter.

-> I am currently living with my wife and 2 children. A 10 year old son and adorable 8 year old daughter.

My wife is a housewife. she is five cm taller than i and eight years younger than i. so everyone is green with envy.

-> My wife is a housewife. She is five cm taller than me and eight years younger than me so everyone is envious.

My son is now 3rd grade at 명덕 elementary school. He always carry good smiles, although he has a bit of shy part.

->My son is now in 3rd grade at 명덕 elementary school. He always carry good smiles, although he has a bit of shy part.

My daughter has just entered the elementary school, the 명덕. She is so pure when she talks and smiles at me.

->My daughter just entered the elementary school, the 명덕. She is so pretty when she talks and smiles at me.

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Hello Bryan,

I'm really happy to know about your family background and it seems that you are a happy family. Thank you for sharing this information and I'd really like to know you more. Have  a nice day. :)

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