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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 06. 17 조회 15644

Swimming

작성자: 1102047346 담당 튜터: Chloe1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
I learned swimming in the summer of my first grade. My mom signed me up at the local community swimming center. She wanted me to learn swimming because she doesn’t know how to swim. When I first started lessons, my teacher taught me how to float in the water. He said, “Just relax your body. Then you can float on the water.” I didn’t have any difficulties with floating. Fortunately I didn’t have fear about water, that’s why I learned how to swim quickly. I learned swimming strokes like back stroke, breaststroke, freestyle. I liked freestyle swimming especially. Also, I wanted to learn butterfly. Although it is the toughest stroke, I thought it looks cool and help my shoulder more wide. But, I had a problem on my ear. I went to doctor. Doctor said “You have to stop swimming. Water put into your ear. That’s why you are painful." I can’t help stopping swimming. After I entered college, I still wanted to learn butterfly. I signed up again. Finally I learned it.
튜터 교정 답변

Hello Jake! I'm glad that you know now how to do the butterfly stroke. Here are your corrections. ^_^

 

I learned swimming one summer when I was in the first grade. My mom signed me up at the local community swimming center. She wanted me to learn how to swim because she doesn’t know how to swim. When I first started learning, my teacher taught me how to float in the water. He said, “Just relax your body. Then you can float on the water.” I didn’t have any difficulties with floating. Fortunately, I didn’t have fear about water, that’s why I learned how to swim quickly. I learned swimming strokes like back stroke, breaststroke and freestyle. I liked freestyle swimming especially. I also want to learn butterfly although it is the toughest stroke because I think it looks cool and it will help my shoulder to broaden up. But, I had a problem on my ear. I went to the doctor. The doctor said “You have to stop swimming. There's water in your ear. That’s why you are in pain." I can’t do anything bout it, but to stop swimming. After I entered college, I still wanted to learn butterfly. I signed up again. Finally I learned it.

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