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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 06. 22 조회 14142

Jogging / Walking

작성자: 1102047346 담당 튜터: Chloe1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
I think there are some pros and cons to walking outside. The first benefit of walking outside is that it is good for your health. Nowadays, people do exercise only little to care about their own health. This is a very serious problem to people. Deficient exercise causes health problem like getting fat. If you walk outside regularly, you can check your health up. Another good thing is that you can look at the good scenery outside while walking. There is a river nearby my home. I usually go there when I need healing. The river view is beautiful. It makes me refresh. However, it is always not good. There are some negatives to walking outside. You have to check whether it rains or snows outside. Also, if the air is bad outside, I have to give up walking outside or prepare a health mask to block the dust from getting inside my lungs. With the proper preparation, it’s not bad walking outside because I can save money to go to gym and enjoy the nice scenery.
튜터 교정 답변

Hello Jake! Thank you for sharing your stories. Here are your corrections. ^_^

 

I think there are some pros and cons about walking outside. The first benefit of walking outside is that it is good for your health. Nowadays, people do exercise only a little to take care about their own health. This is a very serious problem to people nowadays. Deficient exercise causes health problems like getting fat. If you walk outside regularly, you can be healthy. Another good thing is that you can look at the good scenery outside while walking. There is a river near my house. I usually go there when I need healing. The river view is beautiful. It makes me feel refreshed. However, it is always not good. There are some negatives about walking outside. You have to check whether it will  rain or snow. Also, if the weather is bad. I have to give up walking outside or prepare a health mask to block the dust from getting inside my lungs. With the proper preparation, it’s not bad to walk outside because I can save money to go to the gym and enjoy the nice scenery.

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