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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 06. 24 조회 12417

Self Introduction ~

작성자: 1102044240 담당 튜터: Paula
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
My name is Cho jung sang and I'm forty one(41) years old.
I am working at Information & Communication Technology related company and I am in Management Division.
My job is to manage the payments and the compliance.
I have carried out 'payment'jobs for almost 10 years,
but Compliance is a new role.
As, this is a new role, i am very much excited

I enjoyed play TV game with my son and i'm interested in coin collection.
i have been to three countries, among them chian, the coin did not see.
Now that i think about it, i so was wondering why there are no coin.


I usually go to work at ten past eight.
My job is to manage the payment.
I have done this for a long time, 10 years.
After 10 years of long services, I needed some change in my job role to refresh myself.
Now, I am in charge of Compliance.
As this is a new role, I am very much excited.
튜터 교정 답변

My name is Cho jung sang and I'm forty one(41) years old. I am working at Information & Communication Technology related company and I am in Management Division. My job is to manage the payments and the compliance. I have carried out 'payment'jobs for almost 10 years, but Compliance is a new role.

As, this is a new role, i am very much excited I enjoyed play TV game with my son and i'm interested in coin collection. i have been to three countries, among them chian, the coin did not see. Now that i think about it, i so was wondering why there are no coin.

->As, this is a new role, I am very much excited. I enjoy playing TV games with my son and I'm interested in coin collection. I had been to three countries. One of them is China but, I didn't find any coins. Now that I'm thinking about it, I was wondering why there are no coins.

I usually go to work at ten past eight.

-> I usually go to work at 8:10 in the morning.

My job is to manage the payment.

I have done this for a long time, 10 years.

-> I'm doing this for 10 years.

After 10 years of long services, I needed some change in my job role to refresh myself. Now, I am in charge of Compliance. As this is a new role, I am very much excited.

-> After 10 years of long service, I needed some change in my job role to refresh myself. Now, I am in charge of Compliance. As this is a new role, I am very much excited.

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