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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 06. 24 조회 12589

daily work

작성자: 1102044240 담당 튜터: Paula
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
I usually go to work at ten past eight.
My job is to manage the payment.
I have done this for a long time, 10 years.
After 10 years of long services, I needed some change in my job role to refresh myself.
Now, I am in charge of Compliance.
As this is a new role, I am very much excited.
Compliance is a work of pre-inspection and prevention to make company affairs observe law and ethics.


I am planning to go for a trip to overseas with my families including my parents to celebrate my 10th anniversary wedding.
We have yet to decide the location for the trip, but a wonderful previous experience in Saipan telling me to visit there once more.


My plan this year is to raise as much as profits by investing stocks.
Of course, what's most important is my family health.
There is a traditional sayings '가화만사성'.
This means, If the home is filled with harmony and peace, all other things will follow the same path.
I wish to achieve opic grade 4.
튜터 교정 답변

I usually go to work at ten past eight.

-> I usually go to work at 8:10 in the morning.

My job is to manage the payment.

I have done this for a long time, 10 years.

-> I'm doing this for 10 years.

After 10 years of long services, I needed some change in my job role to refresh myself.

-> After 10 years of long service, I needed some change in my job role to refresh myself.

Now, I am in charge of Compliance. As this is a new role, I am very much excited. Compliance is a work of pre-inspection and prevention to make company affairs observe law and ethics.

I am planning to go for a trip to overseas with my families including my parents to celebrate my 10th anniversary wedding.

-> I am planning to go to a trip overseas with my families including my parents to celebrate my 10th anniversary wedding.

We have yet to decide the location for the trip, but a wonderful previous experience in Saipan telling me to visit there once more.

-> We haven't decided yet the location for the trip, but a wonderful previous experienced in Saipan is telling me to visit it once more.

My plan this year is to raise as much as profits by investing stocks. Of course, what's most important is my family health. There is a traditional sayings '가화만사성'. This means, If the home is filled with harmony and peace, all other things will follow the same path. I wish to achieve opic grade 4.

-> My plan this year is to raise much profits by investing in stocks. Of course, what's most important is my family health. There is a traditional saying'가화만사성'. This means, If the home is filled with harmony and peace, all other things will follow the same path. I wish to achieve opic grade 4.

교정 내용이 클립보드에 복사되었습니다!