목록으로 돌아가기
공개 첨삭 완료 2021. 08. 25 조회 10440

My special necklace.

작성자: bomilee 담당 튜터: Trixie
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
My birthday is on October 8th.
Every year, i have a birthday party.
I invited my friends at rastorant.
We eat many foods, and then i open gifts. Last year,
I opened a heart box and saw a very beautiful necklace.
It is golden with golden hearts on it.
I thought it very pretty!
I wear my necklace every day.
It reminds me of my mother.
I hope i never lose my necklace.
튜터 교정 답변

My birthday is on October 8th.
Every year, i have a birthday party.
I always invite  my friends at the restaurant.
We eat many foods, and then i open my gifts.

Last year,
I opened a heart box and saw a very beautiful necklace.
It is gold with golden hearts on it.
I thought it's very pretty!
I wear my necklace every day.
It reminds me of my mother.
I hope i never lose my necklace.

 

heartsmiley

교정 내용이 클립보드에 복사되었습니다!