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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 06. 30 조회 16203

QE Policy of Japan & USA

작성자: pos600333 담당 튜터: Jasmine1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
As the reaction to the global financial crisis and economic recession, most developed countries proceeded expansionary and QE policy. As a result, the USA economy is getting recovered. Unemploment rate is decreasing and housing price is rising. Of course, it is early time to conclude, and we should wait for more time to judge the effect.

However, the Japan economy is struggling in the worst conditions and expected to be difficult to turn around in the short time. Japan met bad conditions in a few years. Tsunami hit the industrial facilities and Toyota had to recall so many products. China is emerging in the global world, and Korea is running after Japan.

This paradigm will last for some time, and it is difficult to solve absolutely. I expect that new biz and new innovative hero will change the paradigm.
튜터 교정 답변

As the reaction to the global financial crisis and economic recession, most developed countries proceeded with expansionary and QE policies. As a result, the USA economy is getting recovered recovering. The unemploment rate is decreasing and the housing price is rising. Of course, it is too early time to conclude anything, and we should wait for more time to judge the effect.

However, the Japanese economy is struggling in the worst conditions and is expected to be difficult to turn around in the a short time. Japan met bad conditions in a few years. A tsunami hit the industrial facilities and Toyota had to recall so many products. China is emerging in the global world, and Korea is running after Japan.

This paradigm will last for some time, and it is difficult to solve absolutely. I expect that a new band new innovative hero will change the paradigm.

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1) Proceed means continue
--"Most developed countries proceeded expansionary and QE policy"
--This doesn't really make sense. Either you want to use words like implemented, began, introduced or you need to say 'proceeded with'

2) "THE unemployment rate and THE housing price" because it's specific. It's the unemployment and housing prices of Japan.

Also a good job, James! I expected you to provide me some quality work this time and you certainly did!

교정 내용이 클립보드에 복사되었습니다!