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공개 첨삭 완료 2021. 09. 17 조회 9653

My Favorite Movie is Frozen 2

작성자: bomilee 담당 튜터: Catherine
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
I enioy watching movies.
My favorite is Frozen 2.
It is one of the most popular children's movies.
the main character is elsa.
she has mazic hands.
she lives in a big paiace.
she wants to live feacefully with her family.
one day elsa hears a certain voice.
she went on an adventure with her family to protect the identity of the voice and the peace of arandal.
she told her family about it.
her younger sister anna became the queen of arandal.
and elsa became the queen of the magic kingdom.
l think the end is very amaging
튜터 교정 답변

I enioy watching movies.
My favorite is Frozen 2.
It is one of the most popular children's movies.
the main character is elsa.
she has mazic hands.
she lives in a big paiace.
she wants to live feacefully with her family.
one day elsa hears a certain voice.
she went on an adventure with her family to protect the identity of the voice and the peace of arandal.
she told her family about it.
her younger sister anna became the queen of arandal.
and elsa became the queen of the magic kingdom.
l think the end is very amaging

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CORRECTION:

I enioy watching movies.
My favorite movie is Frozen 2.
It is one of the most popular movies for children.
The main character's name is Elsa.
She has magical hands.
She lives in a big paiace.
She wants to live peacefully with her family.
One day, Elsa heard a certain voice.
She went on an adventure with her family to protect the identity of the voice and the peace of Arandal.
She told her family about it.
Her younger sister Anna became the queen of Arandal.
And Elsa became the queen of the magical kingdom.
l think the ending is very amazing.
 

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