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공개 첨삭 완료 2023. 04. 28 조회 5295

Making sentences using expressions I learned from the last class

작성자: Tonybin 담당 튜터: Neiz
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
My mom went under the knife on her shoulder last week, so she was not able to use her right hand for the time being.
But fortunately, My older sister lives with her and she can take care of mom.
My older sister touched base with me yesterday to let me know mom's condition and feel. Plus, she went to the company and took
sick leave for six weeks. After hearing about the new, I was relieved that there is a person who look after my mom for all day.
튜터 교정 답변

My mom went under the knife on her shoulder last week, so she was not able to use her right hand for the time being.
But fortunately, my older sister lives with her and she can take care of our mom. My older sister touched base with me yesterday to let me know about our mom's condition and feelings. Plus, she went to the company and took a 
sick leave for six weeks. After hearing about the news, I was relieved that there is a person someone who will look after my mom for all a whole day.

 

REVISED:

My mom went under the knife on her shoulder last week, so she was not able to use her right hand for the time being.
But fortunately, my older sister lives with her and she can take care of our mom. My older sister touched base with me yesterday to let me know about our mom's condition and feelings. Plus, she went to the company and took a 
sick leave for six weeks. After hearing about the news, I was relieved that there is someone who will look after my mom for a whole day.

 

 

Hi Tony,

I just read and delve into your composition. Further to my previous comments, I just changed some terms that might be helpful to make the sentence more vivid to understand and would be more appropriate to have a clearer statement. Nevertheless, when using the expressions, I don't see any mistakes and you could relevantly use it to interpret what you wanted to convey. Keep up the good work! Enjoy your long weekend!

 

Teacher Neiz

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