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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 07. 08 조회 13540

The movies

작성자: 1100909135 담당 튜터: Angel
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
The movie that I have ever gotten very touched is "Pairan". "Pairan" is Korean movie made in 2001 and starring Choi Min Sik who is famouse actor in Korea, and Jang Baek Ji who is Chiness actress. The movie's genre is romantic drama and sad ending story. Pairan is the name of heroine. Pairan attempts an illegal entry into Korea and gets disguised marrige to catch Korean nationality. Choi Min Sik is the fake husband. It is first time to see him for Pairan, but she has considered him everlasting-husband until die. After that Choi Min Sik knows Pairan and cries sorrowfully. Because his life is always very dangerous and nobody likes him. This movie makes me sad and gives me strong impression.
튜터 교정 답변

"The movie that I have ever gotten very touched is "Pairan". "Pairan" is Korean movie made in 2001 and starring Choi Min Sik who is famouse actor in Korea, and Jang Baek Ji who is Chiness actress. The movie's genre is romantic drama and sad ending story. Pairan is the name of heroine. Pairan attempts an illegal entry into Korea and gets disguised marrige to catch Korean nationality. Choi Min Sik is the fake husband. It is first time to see him for Pairan, but she has considered him everlasting-husband until die. After that Choi Min Sik knows Pairan and cries sorrowfully. Because his life is always very dangerous and nobody likes him. This movie makes me sad and gives me strong impression."

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The movie that I have ever gotten very touched is "Pairan". "Pairan" is Korean movie made in 2001 and starring Choi Min Sik who is famouse actor in Korea, and Jang Baek Ji who is Chiness actress. The movie's genre is romantic drama and sad ending story. Pairan is the name of heroine. Pairan attempts an illegal entry into Korea and gets disguised marrige to catch Korean nationality. Choi Min Sik is the fake husband. It is first time to see him for Pairan, but she has considered him everlasting-husband until die. After that Choi Min Sik knows Pairan and cries sorrowfully. Because his life is always very dangerous and nobody likes him. This movie makes me sad and gives me strong impression.

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The movie that really touched or moved me is "Pairan". It is a Korean movie in 2001 starring Choi Min Sik who is a famous actor in Korea, and Jang Baek Ji who is a Chinese actress. It is a romantic-drama film and has a very sad ending. Pairan is a name of a heroine. She attempts to enter Korea illegally and is forced to have an arranged marriage in order to have a Korean citizenship. Choi Min Sik is the fake husband, who is an old and outdated gangster. When they first met, Pairan fell in love with him. Choi Min Sik learned a lot of things about Pairan. He cries sorrowfully because his life is always in danger and nobody likes him. This movie makes me sad and gives me strong emotion.

Note:
Blue - additional and better expressions
Red - spelling, word usage, punctuation and capitalization
Green - pronouns and articles
Pink - sentence structure

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Hi Mr. Won,

I am so delighted to see you working towards your weaknesses. The composition you sent to me was interesting. I am not familiar with this movie so I searched and read something about it on the Internet. I made some additional information with my corrections. Please be advised. Study hard. Have a lovely day! 

Love,
Teacher Angel

"Good, better, best. Never let it rest, 'till your good is better and your better is best!"

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