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공개 첨삭 완료 2023. 05. 17 조회 5210

Making sentences using expressions I learned from the previous class

작성자: Tonybin 담당 튜터: Neiz
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
I has been involved in crucial project in the company for a few months, and Finally it ended up well.
But, according to rumor I will be joined in new project so I made up my mind to ask for time off to my team leader before I jump into the grind. Fortunately, he said you deserve it for time off and accepted it.
Then, I took a rest for a month , But there was a big twist. It means my desk and chair in my team disappeared
튜터 교정 답변

I have been involved in a crucial project in the company for a few months, and finally it ended up well. But, according to rumors, I will be joined involved in a new project so I made up my mind to ask for a time off to my team leader before I jump into the grind. Fortunately, he said you deserve it for a time off and accepted it. Then, I took a rest for a month. But there was a big twist, it means my desk and chair in my team disappeared.

 

REVISED:

I have been involved in a crucial project in the company for a few months, and finally it ended up well. But, according to rumors, I will be involved in a new project so I made up my mind to ask for a time off to my team leader before I jump into the grind. Fortunately, he said you deserve a time off and accepted it. Then, I took a rest for a month. But there was a big twist, it means my desk and chair in my team disappeared.

 

Hi Tony,

Most expressions here were noticed and used appropriately. It's amazin how you can come up with ideas like this.  As you can see, some changes I made is based on what I think the flow of the sentences would be clearer. I tried to chnage the punctuation marks and organized some of it, so that the pattern and message you wanted to express would be more comprehensible. Nevertheless, it didn't change much of your composition. Overall, you seem not running out of ideas wihich is excellent. Keep doing incredible!

 

Teacher Neiz

 

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