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공개 첨삭 완료 2023. 09. 06 조회 4359

A diary on Tuesday

작성자: Tonybin 담당 튜터: Neiz
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
I studied about veganism with my teacher yesterday. To prepare for the class, I searched for internet articles.
There was something interesting for me. The news is that Seoul government promoted veganism to fight climate crisis.
They had a plan to disseminate what veganism means and why many people should adapt to it.
As the majority of the public are still unfamiliar with it.
I think I join with it right away, I would do that in the future for the environment
It's time to think of that deeply
튜터 교정 답변

I studied about veganism with my teacher yesterday. To prepare for the class, I searched on the internet for articles.
There was Something was interesting for me. The news is that Seoul government promoted veganism to fight climate crisis. They had a plan to disseminate what veganism means and why many people should adapt to ita, as the majority of the public are still unfamiliar with it. I think I will join with it right away, I would do that in the future for the environment. It's time to think of that deeply.

 

REVISED:

I studied about veganism with my teacher yesterday. To prepare for the class, I searched on the internet for articles. Something was interesting for me. The news is that Seoul government promoted veganism to fight climate crisis. They had a plan to disseminate what veganism means and why many people should adapt to it, as the majority of the public are still unfamiliar with it. I think I will join with it right away, I would do that in the future for the environment. It's time to think of that deeply.

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