목록으로 돌아가기
공개 첨삭 완료 2023. 09. 14 조회 4830

A diary on Thursday

작성자: Tonybin 담당 튜터: Neiz
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
I read an article about earthquake in Morocco.
they said The huge 6.8 earthquake that struck Morocco on Sept. 8 has killed more than 2,862 people and the government expected there will be more death roll from the press.
It's pretty a tremendous disaster for residents. It could be seen to people in Morocco face a bitter fate.
It was tearing me apart to see them. I am going to find out the ways to help them as far as I can.
튜터 교정 답변

I read an article about earthquake in Morocco. They said the huge strong 6.8 earthquake that struck Morocco on Sept. 8 has killed more than 2,862 people and the government expected there will be more death roll from the press.
It's pretty a tremendous disaster for residents. It could be seen to people in Morocco a bitter fate.
Bitter fate can be seen on people's face in Morroco. It was tearing me apart to see them. I am going to find out the ways to help them as far as I can.

 

REVISED:

I read an article about earthquake in Morocco. They said the strong 6.8 earthquake that struck Morocco on Sept. 8 has killed more than 2,862 people and the government expected there will be more death roll from the press. It's pretty a tremendous disaster for residents. Bitter fate can be seen on people's face in Morroco. It was tearing me apart to see them. I am going to find out the ways to help them as far as I can.

 

Hi Tony,

Thank you for another update and practicing your skills through this composition. As I've seen, few lapses were just changed and corrected. In general, as I was reading it, it's been just simple yet adequately constructed. Keep going, I'm rooting for your progress!

 

Teacher Neiz

 

 

 

교정 내용이 클립보드에 복사되었습니다!