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공개 첨삭 완료 2023. 09. 19 조회 5073

A diary on Tuesday

작성자: Tonybin 담당 튜터: Neiz
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
My mother was diagnosed with diabetes yesterday. After hearing that, she didn't believe that she became a diabetic.
But she said that she will overcome that through working out and dietary control.
According to medical information, she should cut down high glucose foods such as flour, sweet potato, rice cake.
In stead of those foods, she is recommended to have balanced diet.
If the blood sugar level is increasing, it has bad impact on her health.
튜터 교정 답변

My mother was diagnosed with diabetes yesterday. After hearing that, she didn't believe that she's became a diabetic.
But she said that she will overcome that through working out and dietary control. According to medical information, she should cut down high-glucose foods such as flour, sweet potato, and rice cake. Instead of those foods, she is recommended to have a balanced diet. If the blood sugar level is increasing increases, it has a bad will have a negative impact on her health.

 

REVISED:

My mother was diagnosed with diabetes yesterday. After hearing that, she didn't believe that she's diabetic. But she said that she will overcome that through working out and dietary control. According to medical information, she should cut down high-glucose foods such as flour, sweet potato, and rice cake. Instead of those foods, she is recommended to have a balanced diet. If the blood sugar level increases, it will have a negative impact on her health.

 

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