목록으로 돌아가기
공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 07. 14 조회 13156

My hause

작성자: 118748 담당 튜터: Riz
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
I live in apartment with my family. It is the first my own house.
I bought it ten years ago. My home has three rooms and a main veranda where I raise flower.
The veranda looks like flower garden. Two rooms were small but i extended their veranda.
So Two rooms became big. Even though my house is ten years old,
it is very clean because my wife clean up a house everyday.
I have a bed and a wardrobe in my room. The wardrobe in my room were built into the walls.
And i have a old TV in my room.
Recently, I bought a new apartment, so i have to sell the old apartment.
I usually relax at home watching TV and growing flowers for refreshing after work.
My house is heaven.
튜터 교정 답변

I live in apartment with my family. - good

It is the first my own house house I owned

I bought it ten years ago. - good

My home has three rooms and a main veranda where I raise flower. -good

The veranda looks like  flower garden. - good

Two rooms were small but i extended their it to the veranda.

So Two rooms became big.- good

Even though my house is ten years old, it is very clean because my wife clean up a the house everyday.

I have a bed and a wardrobe in my room. good

The wardrobe in my room were was  built into the walls.

And i have a an old TV in my room.

Recently, I bought a new apartment, so i have to sell the old apartment.-good

I usually relax at home watching TV and growing flowers for refreshing after work. - good

My house is heaven.- good

 

Hi Kingkong,

Good job, you're composition is great. You're able to express every  details of your  house.

교정 내용이 클립보드에 복사되었습니다!