학생 제출 원문
Commercial flight and highways are one of the common transportations, but passenger transportation by rail is still
taking the allure of travellers. With high speed rail transportation, we do not only need to drive , but also focus on more important things like my own works and friends and families. In addition, high speed rail transportation has environmental and economical benefits, for example, it do not have the fuel to run, which could make pollution and it helps in the recruits of local cities.
튜터 교정 답변
Commercial flight and highways are one of the common transportations, but passenger transportation by rail is still
taking the allure of travellers. With high speed rail transportation, we do not only need to drive , but also focus on more important things like my own works and friends and families. In addition, high speed rail transportation has environmental and economical benefits, for example, it do not have the fuel to run, which could make pollution and it helps in the recruits of local cities.
The sentence has several issues, including grammar, clarity, and coherence. Here's a revised version and insights into the problems:
**Revised Sentence:**
Commercial flights and highways are common forms of transportation, but passenger rail transport still attracts many travelers. With high-speed rail transportation, we don't just need to drive; we can also focus on more important things like our work, friends, and family. Additionally, high-speed rail transportation offers environmental and economic benefits. For example, it doesn’t use fuel, which reduces pollution, and it supports the development of local cities.
**Insights:**
1. **Grammar and Agreement:**
- "Commercial flight and highways" should be "Commercial flights and highways" for subject-verb agreement.
- "Passenger transportation by rail is still taking the allure of travellers" should be "Passenger rail transport still attracts many travelers" for clarity and correct verb usage.
2. **Clarity and Coherence:**
- "With high speed rail transportation, we do not only need to drive , but also focus on more important things like my own works and friends and families" is unclear and awkward. It’s better to say, "With high-speed rail transportation, we don't just need to drive; we can also focus on more important things like our work, friends, and family."
- "It do not have the fuel to run, which could make pollution" should be "it doesn’t use fuel, which reduces pollution" for correctness and clarity.
- "It helps in the recruits of local cities" is unclear. It’s better to say, "it supports the development of local cities."
These changes enhance readability and ensure the sentence effectively conveys the intended meaning.
