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공개 첨삭 완료 2024. 08. 02 조회 3172

This is the main story about trip to Japan~!

작성자: whoisthe1222 담당 튜터: Jin1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
First day, I went to Ghibli Park. Actually, I saw only 3 movies by Ghibli. But I love 'The cat returns', so it was deserved that I went to. It was huge, but we could see all areas. Because we didn't get in line to take a picture with characters. We just took pictures we were passing by. Next day, 3 people went to Aquarium and me and another just looked around Osaka. We gathered again, we went to the umeda sky building. It's observatory. We were all tired, but we didn't give up to see a night view. It was beautiful, but it was challenging because there were a lot of people..
튜터 교정 답변

On my first day in Japan, I went to Ghibli Park. Actually, I saw only three movies by Ghibli. But I love 'The cat returns', so I am so happy that I went there. It was huge, but we were able to see the whole place. We didn't get in line to take photos with the characters. We just took pictures of them while we were passing by. The next day, three of my friends and I went to the aquarium while one of our friends just looked around Osaka. After that, we gathered again and went to the Umeda Sky Building. It's an observatory. We were all tired at that time, but we didn't give up to see a night view. It was beautiful, but it was challenging because there were a lot of people.

교정 내용이 클립보드에 복사되었습니다!