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공개 첨삭 완료 2024. 09. 05 조회 3031

0905 birthday

작성자: firb_lx0003_parkys 담당 튜터: Jace2usa
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
How people celebrate their birthdays varies according to their cultures, but that day belongs solely to them and has the special meaning to each person.

As for me,the memorial birthday is the date when I spend in getting the gifts with letters of children, when they show me big gratitude and love to me and my wife, so normally I reserve the special restaurant for special congratulation.
튜터 교정 답변
How people celebrate their birthdays varies according to their cultures, but that day belongs solely to them and has the special meaning to each person.

As for me,the memorial birthday is the date when I spend in getting the gifts with letters of children, when they show me big gratitude and love to me and my wife, so normally I reserve the special restaurant for special congratulation. The sentence has some grammatical and stylistic issues. Here’s a breakdown and revised version: ### Issues: 1. **Subject-Verb Agreement:** "How people celebrate their birthdays varies" should be "vary" to match the plural subject "how people celebrate their birthdays." 2. **Grammar and Clarity:** Phrases like "memorial birthday" and "spend in getting the gifts with letters of children" are unclear and awkward. 3. **Punctuation:** There is a missing space after "me," and "the special restaurant" should be "a special restaurant" for general use. 4. **Word Choice:** "Special congratulation" is awkward; "special celebration" would be clearer. ### Revised Version: How people celebrate their birthdays varies according to their cultures, but that day belongs solely to them and holds special meaning for each person. As for me, a memorable birthday is one when I receive gifts and letters from children, expressing their gratitude and love for my wife and me. I usually reserve a special restaurant for this occasion to celebrate. This revised version addresses grammatical issues and clarifies the intended meaning, making it more coherent and fluid.
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