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공개 첨삭 완료 2024. 12. 11 조회 3205

socialism

작성자: firb_lx0003_parkys 담당 튜터: Brandiss2usa
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
I disagree with socialism because it has a poor historical track record in many countries. Even a few cases that seem successful often lack clear evidence of sustainable results, and people are discouraged from questioning them.

So far, free-market democracies have been the only system to consistently achieve historical economic success, with a proven track record to back it up. One key reason for this is the reward system inherent in free-market economies, which directly incentivizes hard work. In contrast, socialism tends to delay or diminish rewards for individual effort.
튜터 교정 답변

I disagree with socialism because it has a poor historical track record in many countries. Even a few cases that seem successful often lack clear evidence of sustainable results, and people are discouraged from questioning them.

So far, free-market democracies have been the only system to consistently achieve historical economic success, with a proven track record to back it up. One key reason for this is the reward system inherent in free-market economies, which directly incentivizes hard work. In contrast, socialism tends to delay or diminish rewards for individual effort.

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