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공개 첨삭 완료 2025. 06. 25 조회 1783

Honesty

작성자: hunet_kolmar221206 담당 튜터: Clement1usa
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Before we dive into our discussions on anti-corruption and integrity, let me share something a bit lighter — but no less powerful. There’s a classic song by Billy Joel called ‘Honesty’. The opening line says: ‘Honesty is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue.’
Now, I’m not saying Billy Joel was writing about corporate compliance — but if he were, he might have been a visionary in governance!
The truth is, honesty shouldn’t be a lonely word. So today, let’s do what Billy Joel wished for — make honesty less lonely by practicing it, promoting it, and protecting those who live by it.
튜터 교정 답변

Before we dive into our discussions on anti-corruption and integrity, let me share something a bit lighter but no less powerful. There’s a classic song by Billy Joel called “Honesty.” The opening line says, “Honesty is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue.”

Now, I’m not saying Billy Joel was writing about corporate compliance but if he had been, he might have been a visionary in governance!

The truth is, honesty doesn’t have to be a lonely word. So today, let’s do what Billy Joel wished for make honesty less lonely by practicing it, promoting it, and protecting those who live by it.

 

  1. "If he were" - "If he had been"

    • You’re speculating about a past unreal situation, so you need the third conditional:

      • "If he had been writing about corporate compliance..."

      • The original phrase ("If he were") suggests a current imaginary scenario rather than a past hypothetical.

  2. "Honesty shouldn’t be a lonely word" - "Honesty doesn’t have to be a lonely word"

    • The new version sounds more natural and conversational in tone.

    • "Doesn’t have to be" implies possibility and hope, which aligns better with the motivational call to action that follows.

  3. Punctuation & Formatting:

    • Song titles like “Honesty” should be italicized or in quotation marks.

    • Use a comma after introductory clauses, e.g., "The opening line says,".

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