목록으로 돌아가기
공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 07. 16 조회 12012

My family

작성자: 118748 담당 튜터: Riz
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
I have a mother, elder sister, younger brother.
They live together except me in other city.
When i was 17, my father died by cancer.
I live in 화성 city with my wife and children now.
I was married in 1993 and I have one son and one daughter.
There are five people in my family including me.
My son entered university last year and
my daughter is a third-year student in high school.
It is difficult to hang out together, because my family's hobby is different.
I like to go out, my wife wants to stay home,
my son likes internet game, my princess likes karaoke.
However, my family understanding each other is very happy.
튜터 교정 답변

I have a mother, elder sister and younger brother.

They live together except me in other city. - Good

When i was 17, my father died by in cancer.

I live in 화성 city with my wife and children now.- Good

I was married in 1993 and I have one son and one daughter.

There are five people in my family including me.- good

My son entered in the university last year and my daughter is a third-year student in high school.

It is difficult to hang out together, because my family's hobby is different we have different hobbies.

I like to go out, my wife wants to stay home, my son likes internet game and my princess likes karaoke.

However, my family understanding understand each other is very happy and we are very happy.

 

Hi There,

 

Thank you much for writing about your family.  appreciate your time.See you in the class

교정 내용이 클립보드에 복사되었습니다!