"Walking out side has both adventages and disadavantage. Regarding advantage, we can save money and enjoy outside landscape or scenery. But there are some negative things. First, if the weather is not good, for example it is rainy, strong windy, snowy, we can't walk outside. Because we are able to be in dangerous situation about safety. Second, if we don't feel like going to walk, nothing controls ourself, so we can easily skip our exercise. But about gym, we already paid money, so we tried not to waste money, so it makes us to go to excercise. Outside walking can be easily skipped by laziness."
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Walking out side has both adventages and disadavantage. Regarding advantage, we can save money and enjoy outside landscape or scenery. But there are some negative things. First, if the weather is not good, for example it is rainy, strong windy, snowy, we can't walk outside. Because we are able to be in dangerous situation about safety. Second, if we don't feel like going to walk, nothing controls ourself, so we can easily skip our exercise. But about gym, we already paid money, so we tried not to waste money, so it makes us to go to excercise. Outside walking can be easily skipped by laziness.
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Walking outside has both advantages and disadavantages. One of its advantages is we can save money and enjoy outside landscape or scenery, but there are some negative things about it too. First, if the weather is not good like if it is rainy, windy, or snowy, we can't walk outside because we can be in a dangerous situation. Second, if we don't feel like going to walk, nothing forces us, so we skip to exercise easily. But if we are enrolled in a gym, we are oblige to excersie because we already paid for it and we do not want to waste our money. Walking outside can be easily skipped by laziness.
Note:
Blue - additional and better expressions
Red - spelling, punctuations and capitalization
Pink - word usage
Yellow - sentence structure
Green - pronouns and articles
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Hi Mr. Won,
Thank you for sending another composition. I was impressed with what you have written. The thought was definitely there but you have to be careful with your sentences structure. Please be guided with my suggestions all the time. Check your previous compositions to review. Be friedly with your dictionary to learn more English words. Study well. Have a nice day!
Love,
Teacher Angel
"It always seems impossible until it's done."
